charts, facts, figures

Hahahaha, so I was tidying my computer after updating all my fic links from livejournal to dreamwidth or mostly AOO3 links just to be safe and in the process checking to see what fics I had in the purgatory of WIP and what were actually complete files.

And I came across a doc of rambling about the season premiere... of season 6 of Criminal Minds (ie the one with Tim Curry being creepy)

So while I realize we are totally a season and a half ahead of this, posting it because it's hilariously out of date but still makes me laugh.

Enjoy? Unedited, but still, hilarious.

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( Previously on criminal minds… eric close was an idiot. )

I've been talking about several fics that I NEED to link, and instead of the half-assed links post from a week ago, I instead reworked that into a more comprehensive and coherent list here. Enjoy!

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* Of locker rooms and lunch dates by zeldaophelia (CSI: NY; PG-13; 4,933 words)
Flack/Angell. One version of how they finally hooked up.

A series of fics about how Don and Jess got together. All kinds of adorable. I'm still enough behind that I need to see more of the episodes with the two of them (and ignore the season finale of great woe, lalalala) but I love the characterization of Jess here as someone who can put up with Flack's snark and dish it right back. Cute.

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* my life's come off its tracks by mimblexwimble (Supernatural pre-series AU; PG-13; ~29,000 words)
Dean tells her, things are going fine, yeah he got into a fight and no, he doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s getting better and better at this sign language thing. He looks at her brightly. Big smile. Opens his swollen eye as wide as it can go.

Ouch, shit.

Gorgeously written and paced. I would love to see later pre-canon or even canon written in this 'verse. Perfect nailing of voices with the kids and the adults (Bobby! Pastor Jim!) even when it kind of break your heart. Hilarious and sad all at once.

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* Empty Spaces by darkmagic_luvr (CSI NY/Criminal Minds semi-AU; PG-13/R; 13,200 words)
There's a serial killer in the suburbs of New York and the BAU has been requested to provide a profile. The NYPD and the BAU decide to collaborate, sending an FBI agent and a senior detective undercover, posing as a married couple, fitting the same criteria of the pervious victims. Don Flack and Emily Prentiss haven't seen each other in years, but now, seeing as they have to pretend to be married, they'll be seeing a lot of each other.

I know you are shocked (or not at all) that I am behind this story ;o) I'm sorry, but can we just talk about how hot the idea of Don and Emily would be? I love the idea that they met and had a relationship (even though I'm not sure I bought Prentiss logic in the story about why they broke up but whatever, I guess we needed it for plot reasons) and Garcia in this is perfect and spot on. Honestly I enjoyed it as much for the mental images (*grin*) as the story, which was an interesting casefile.

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*(Not Your) Superman Tonight by torakowalski (Multi-bandom AU; NC-17; 37,000 words)
Brian scratches his neck. "This is the NSA," he says, "The National Security Administration. They're feds."

Bob raises his eyebrows, all no, really?

Brian winces. "They employ telepaths. Like Asher and-" me. He can't say it. He folds his arms. "It's not as weird as it sounds."

Even if you're not a bandom fan, this story is all kinds of fascinating. It takes the premise of the movie Thoughtcrimes (mmm, Joe Flannigan as an FBI agent) and blurs it nicely with actual bandom (hey, turns out it's hard to manage a band and be telepathic at the same time, who knew?) and it's funny and sharp and violent and I wish it were a movie because it'd be awesome.

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* Small Town by ashinae and linden_jay. (Sports Night AU; NC-17; 41,750 words)
Welcome to Port Bowmore, Nova Scotia. Population 700.

Dan and Casey, roommates since college, co-manage the town's sporting goods store. Dan (who is not-so-secretly in love with Casey) spends most of his time hunting the local longshoremen. Casey (who is very secretly in love with Dan) is sleeping with Sally Sasser, the town's ambulance chasing lawyer. When Bobby Bernstein comes to town to recruit Dan for a GM position at SportChek in Halifax, Casey has to confront his feelings for Dan, or lose him to the 'big city'.

Hot and hilarious and witty enough that it sounds straight out of a Sorkin script. Despite the shift in universe, this is still totally Danny and Casey and the rest; the boys still suck at communicating about anything, and Dana still rules all. Genius.

The Criminal Minds Fan Fic Awards are in the voting phase. If you are not a complete idiot like me (who pressed some wrong button and "completed" the survey without ever actually voting, how irritating) you should go vote! I've read many of these (and recced some before) but God, these are all genius!

Stories I'd forgotten about (the one where Prentiss runs into Flack in a bar! How cute would they be together! Or New Year: scorching Reid/Prentiss, anyone?) or ones I'd never read (such as Upward Over the Mountain, where Rossi hilariously and perfectly plots to get Hotch to admit he's into Reid, with a spot on Reid as well) and I promise you many hours of reading and re-reading.

So go, before I continue on this overly exclamation-pointed enthusiastic rant about the awesomeness. ( : angsty but awesome Rossi/Prentiss! Other things that I would link but instead read so now it is 2am!)

Sheesh, read these already, I need to go to bed ;o)

My not so coherent thoughts about the 100th episode of Criminal Minds.

( Spoilers for '100' like woah. )

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In cleaning this up, I really over use elipses (though I kept many of those) and the words "ok" and "the best thing ever" (many of which I fixed).

Gosh, I love that show. And don't even get me started about the adorableness of Danny and Lindsay on CSI: NY, because something about his kind of hilarious sense of humor and the nice New York solidity to his accent and it makes me happy. Though he does have terrible taste in sweaters...

Four words for you:

John Barrowman. Single Ladies.

Ahahahahahahahaha.

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I'm also watching the slightly odd but pretty cute Top Chef All Stars Dinner that was on last week. Dale and Sara from season three are BFF and roommates! Casey (season 3) and Carla (season 5) look like they will have drama but in fact get along fine! Marcel (season 2) is still a jackass! Stefan cracks me up and totally loves Fabio (both season 5) to death, it's sweeeeeeet. Hung (season 3) is probably nicer than you'd think! The cooks from season 4 are talented, albeit boring and lacking drama!

It was like watching someone else's slightly awkward estranged family have dinner when they were all conned into being there. But still, entertaining.

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Also, I am writing Criminal Minds fic for the first time. Pray that it gets finished! I might have to go rework the drabble of Morgan and Reid and Prentiss with iced coffee that I wrote and posted with so little fanfare a while ago. :o)?

I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed the Black Irish inherent hotness of black hair and bright blue eyes. I periodically record episodes of CSI: NY and I've discovered (re-discovered?) not only am I still a huge fan of Gary Sinise, but Eddie Cahill--he plays a detective on the show and is awesomely sarcastic and New Yorkishly accented--has these stunning blue eyes that take me back to countless Saturday nights watching The Practice with Dylan McDermott and being mesmerized by just how PRETTY he was.

So that was a happy place realization... which then meant that I wandered off onto the internet and read lots of fabulous stories in a universe where the New York CSI department instead investigates supernatural crime and it's creepy and hot. So go explore stellaluna_'s BSI'verse. This made me wonder how that would work for our boys and girls in Criminal Minds... which meant that I lost a few hours in amichevole's WiP story where Prentiss is a vampire and Morgan is a werewolf. Oh! Which reminds me of the awesome mcshep_match story where John Sheppard just happens to be a were-mountain lion. Hey, it happens? At least it does in Where the Brave Dare Not Go by telesilla XD

This icon strikes me as highly appropriate, even though Adam Storke is not Eddie Cahill (though might also have the same coloring, so it still kind of works, and I was such a Larry fangirl from The Stand, oh goodness).

And I've been working on posting this since yesterday (when I lost half the night to CSI: NY fanfic, man, I don't have time to watch a new show, knock it off, brain) so I should post it now.

Don't even get me started on accents, sheesh, Simon Baker has this awesome Australian accent and is so cheery and blond and smiley, it totally makes every episode of The Mentalist (though he does act "American", which makes me want there to be an episode where he has to trick someone by pretending to be Australian... please?)

Title: Exothermic Reactions
Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis AU, Ocean’s 11, Bones, Criminal Minds, and Due South
Pairings: John/Rodney, Fraser/Ray K; others pretty much gen
Word Count: 1,504 in total
Rating: PG for language and mention of nakedness.
Warnings: none. No spoilers either!
Summary: It’s too darn hot. Five looks at some of our favorite people surviving the warmth of summer.


1. Thermoregulation
(Elementary!verse AU, 258 words)

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2. Hot Streak
(Ocean’s 11, 339 words)

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3. Home Remedy
(Bones, 271 words)

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4. Boiling Point
(Criminal Minds, 393 words)

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5. Pressure Changes
(Due South, 255 words)

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Most of my brain has been taken up with either dogsitting (a week ago, for a week, cuuuuuuuuute cocker spaniel who had squeaky snores, it was awesome) and summer camp (middle schoolers who are funny and tiring). I've also been catching up on Bones (aw, David Boreanaz is adorable). I'm up to "The Cinderella in the Cardboard" and ( (spoilers for plot twists in S4). ) I really enjoy the random rotation of interns, weirdly enough. Especially Mr. Nigel Murray, who(m?) I find extremely adorable. I feel like someone has made icons with a quizzical looking MNM (as it were) and now I can't find them. Bummer.

Today, Remix Redux 7 is open for reading! My original writer seems to like the remix I wrote, which is excellent. Someone (who is awesome and still anonymous until the 26th) took Not So Artificial and made Just Breathe (The Artifact of Vision Remix) which is hot and adorable and really shows how John and Rodney are sometimes so great together... and yet so inarticulate together. *smushes them*

I had a great time reading in all the fandoms that I know, which is always fun. Go! Read!

My sister and I watched the finale for Criminal Minds (again, for me) which I already griped about here. I've also been reading lots of Prentiss/Rossi, which is sort of connected (by the transitive theory of awesome? I dunno)... :o)

It has been months since I've done this, but here: have the All Fic Edition of the Rec Triad.

Rec Triad June 2009

I've been catching up on The Mentalist, which is an adorably quirky show with fun characters about a mentalist who uses his crazy observational skills (and charming adorable sexiness personality) to help solve crime. If you watch the show, you will enjoy this fic immensely: Red Tables Turning. Don't be alarmed by its placement on fanfiction.net--although after reading this one I totally took a spin through some more and woah, at times it was painful, yet hilarious. But, the story linked above gives a great outside view of Patrick Jane and how he acts when our favorite guys from the BAU show up to talk about Red John. I was not expecting the crossover insanity, and it was fun. Only two chapters, but I'd love a long, meaty look at how they'd help finally (I mean, seriously, guys, on Criminal Minds they find serial killers all the time in approximately 40 minutes, you haven't done it in 23 episodes!)

In a different vein, apparently I not only enjoy believable and interesting AU ideas (whether this means "and Hotch and Rossi have been together since he divorced Haley, trufax" or "hey, the BAU is all in the circus!"*) I just read a bandom AU fic (shut up, don't judge me) where Professor Gerard falls for Frank his hot TA (these guys are all from My Chemical Romance, fyi) which was tons of fun and cute. So go read jezrana's "In Which Gerard Is a Quirky College Professor and Frank Is the Best TA Ever", parts 1, 2, and 3 (with more drabbles here).

This got me thinking about other Professor!AUs, which reminded me that I loved the Due South version where Fraser and Kowalski teach English Lit (Punk Academic); this love of professor/colleague/pretty much equal dynamic goes a long way towards explaining my own Elementary!verse stories.

But there has to be a story where John shows up as Rodney's crazy-haired TA who seems to have no background in the hard sciences but then busts out with some genius theory during TA hours (which Rodney monitors, just to make sure it wouldn't be a totaly disaster) and the way John's hands sketch the arcs of a mathematical curve makes Rodney's throat dry. Isn't there one? I have such a great mental image of this... help me out, guys!



*Not that there is a BAU-inna-circus!AU, but there definitely should be. Think of it: Reid wows as the Smartest Man in the World! Prentiss doing gymnastics atop a horse, or something! Morgan the Strong Man! Garcia as the awesome girl behind the scenes! Hotch as the hard-working and stressed owner of the circus and Rossi as the old co-owner that left years ago after a disastrous show but is back now for some "unfinished business"! I think this could work well...

I've finally taken the time to catch up (almost) to the current episodes of Criminal Minds and oh, SHOW. I heart you so much.

On top of this, I have been reading some excellent CM fic and thought I'd rec some of it for you all! After a binge of fic-reading a while back, I totally got behind the idea of Rossi/Prentiss (this is helped by the fact that Joe Montagna is both hot and awesome and totally Hotch's BFF, seriously) and some recent fic feels so much in line with canon that I keep blending the two together. So I bring you two (sort of three) recs that are NC-17, fair warning.

Cause of Snow (7,000 words; NC-17) by wojelah

Prentiss has a flat tire, no power, and a free weekend. Rossi has several spare bedrooms, wine, and a wood-burning stove. Emily's a little baffled, but she'd like the chance to enjoy the evening a little longer.

Total added bonus for this is to hear about Rossi's cool house, though obviously the best part is the hotness of Prentiss and Rossi.

Longest Way Round is the Shortest Way Home (13,000 words; NC-17) by smittywing & wojelah

A tag for 4.17: Demonology (which kicked ass, oh show, I love you so). “Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home.” -- James Joyce

This is the one where I get confused where the awesome conversations of the episode stopped and this fic (or these fics, because really it's two pieces, one in each of their points of view) began. Bonus points for Rossi cooking Italian food.

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And don't even get me started on the adorable potential of Hotch/JJ (in an AU where Will is not in the picture, like Inappropriate (But Unavoidable) (17,000; PG) by innerslytherin and severity_softly)... which leads me back into Rossi/Prentiss in that universe and really, now I recall why I have "lengthy yet believable aus" as one of my journal interests, right up there with "elaborate panfandom crossovers" because I will never stop telling you all how awesome Criminal Minds/Bones fic would be, though woah, I am behind in that show like crazy.