Cannot be programmed, categorized, or easily referenced

Note: All the fics are now linked through Archive of Our Own, so I've used the Archive warning tags when appropriate. I hope to make everyone's fic reading experience a positive one, so if you feel there are more tags that are needed to appropriately warn for particular content, please let me know!

If you want to learn more about how to place warning tags on your fic outside of AO3, sheafrotherdon has a great post here!

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Why yes, I was using that quote from The X-Files ironically. To be nice and neat, here are all my stories, sorted by fandom. Enjoy!


American Gods
* In the Land of Fire and Dreams (PG-13)
* Resumption (crossover w/ Stephen King's It, PG-13)

Avengers
* Secondhand Hope (PG, fusion with Star Trek Reboot universe)
* Tesla Gibson 13 (Tony and Steve, gen)

Blade: Trinity
* Blood Relations (HK/AT/DT, NC-17) [Yuletide]

Bones
* Home Remedy (Booth and Brennan, gen)

The Brothers Bloom
* Stephen's List (gen) [NYR 2013]

Buffy: the Vampire Slayer
* Postcards from the Edge (Three Chord Overdub) [Oz, PG]
**Remix of Old Friends by secondalto; Remix VII

Criminal Minds
* Boiling Point (Morgan, Reid, Prentiss, gen)
* Turn the Radio Up (multiple pairings, PG-13)

CSI: Las Vegas
* Secundum Non Maligere (Nick/Warrick, R)

CSI: New York
* Under the Influence (99 Bottles of Beer Remix) [Don/Danny; R]
** Remix of Beer by noxnoctisanima; Remix VIII

Daredevil (2015)
* Sense Memory (Matt, gen)

The Dark is Rising
* Restoration (Cornish Dance Remix) (gen)
** Remix of Orientation by Gramarye

Due South
* A Land So Wild and Savage [Love Ballad Remix] (Fraser, PG-13)
**Remix of One Warm Line by melannen; Remix XII
* Black, White, and Red All Over (Fraser/Kowalski, PG-13)
* Heaven is a Place on Earth (Fraser and Kowalski, PG-13)
* Pressure Changes (Fraser/Kowalski, PG)

Eureka
* Beginnings (Jack and Nathan pre-slash, gen)
* Early Bird Special (Jack and Nathan, gen) [Yuletide]
* In Case of Emergency, Head Towards the Nearest Exit (Jack and Nathan, gen) [Yuletide]
* Let It Snow (Jack and Henry, gen) [Yuletide]

Firefly
* Posse Comitatus (Crew, PG)

Grimm
* Night Terrors (Nick, Hank, Monroe gen; PG-13) [Yuletide]

Harry Potter
* Hanging by a Moment (James/Lily; PG-13)
* Light and Sweet (Smooth Criminal Remix) [crossover with Homicide: Life on the Street, PG-13]
** Remix of A Cup of Tea by musesfool

Hawaii Five-O (2010)
* Kiss Me Better (But Keep Your Gas Mask On) (AU, Steve/Danny, PG-13)
* The Duty Ours (Steve/Danny, PG-13)

Inception
* The Power of Social Media (Arthur/Eames, PG-13)

NCIS
* Breaking Character (Tony, PG)
* Shortest Distance Between Two Points (Tim/Tony, PG)
* Sleight of Hand (Tim/Tony, PG)

Ocean at the End of the Lane
* the past is prologue (gen) [Yuletide]

Ocean's 11
* All These Things that I've Done (Danny/Rusty and Basher, PG-13) [Yuletide]
* Courage and Convictions (Rusty/Linus, PG-13)
* Gotta Pick a Pocket or Two (Linus, PG)
* Hot Streak (Rusty and Danny, gen)
* Negative Space (Danny(/)Rusty, gen)
* Shooting the Moon (Danny, Rusty, Linus, PG-13)
* That Feeling You Can Only Say in French (Danny, Rusty, LeMarc, PG-13)

RENT
* After All There's Only One More Sleep 'Til Christmas (Mark/Roger, PG-13)
* Addiction (Mark/Roger, PG-13)
* Habitual (Maureen, gen)
* Im/Ex Plosion (Mark/Roger, PG-13)
* Life & Other Equations (A Case of Closets Remix) [Mark/Roger, PG-13]
** Remix of Closet Space by cameraneverlies; Remix IV
* Names Under Which They Now Go (Mark, Roger, Collins, PG-13)
* Parameters (Mark/Roger, R)
** Remixed by gildedmuse as Best Left Unsaid (Starving Artists Overdub); Remix IV

Salem's Lot
* Vampire Blues [Interlude] (Ben and Mark, PG-13) [Yuletide]

Something Wicked This Way Comes
* Beat, Pause, and Beat (Will and Jim, PG-13) [Yuletide]

Stargate: Atlantis
* Arboreal Perch of Death (John and Rodney drabble, gen)
* Candid (John and Rodney, pre-slash)
* Determined (Soldier Boy Remix) [Lorne, gen]
** Remix of The Jumper Lesson by wickedwords; Remix VI
* Elementary!verse AU (timeline and podfic!):
** Say Hello (John/Rodney, PG)
** Teachers Do It in Red Pen (John/Rodney, G)
** October and February (John/Rodney, PG)
** Universal Gravitation (John/Rodney, PG)
** Overflow (John/Rodney, G)
** Rainy Day (John/Rodney, PG-13)
** Lips and Hearts (John/Rodney, PG-13)
** Thermoregulation (John/Rodney, G)
** Shutterbug (John/Rodney, PG)
* First Monday (John/Rodney, PG-13)
** Remixed by darsynia as Acceptable Risk (the Slow Build Remix); Remix VI
* Imagine Whirled Peas (John/Rodney, PG)
* Mnemonic (John/Rodney, PG-13)
* Not So Artifical (John/Rodney kisslet, PG-13)
** Remixed by crysothemis as Just Breathe (The Artifact of Vision Remix); Remix VII
* Quiet (John/Rodney, PG-13)
* Recreational (Teyla and Ronon, gen)
* Six Degrees (connected with Ocean's 11 and Supernatural, gen)
* 'Til Human Voices Wake Us, and we Drown (John/Rodney, R)
* The Weight of Water (Team Shep, gen)
** Remixed by sugargroupie as Water and the Weight of It (Athosian Remastered); Remix VIII
* Woof and Warp (John/Rodney, R)

A Study in Emerald
* Nightcap (Moran and Moriarty, gen) [Yuletide]
* The Case of the Curious Menagerie (Holmes and Watson, R) [Yuletide]
* The Case of the Limping Doctor (Watson and Holmes, R) [Yuletide]

Supernatural
* Alma Mater Studiorum (Sam, gen)
** Remixed by verstehenas Alma Mater Studiorum (Ol' 55 Mix); Remix V
* In Nomine Patris (Latin Dance Mix) [Dean, PG-13]
** Remix of Falling Short by meredevachon
* Necessities (Sam and Dean; gen)
**Remixed by tesserae as Chores (the shopping list mix); Remix XII

Without a Trace
* Second Steps (Danny/Martin, Roger/Mark, PG)
* Untitled, Uncategorized (Danny/Martin, PG)